Should you keep going?

Don't decide right after the worst session

The most common feeling in the first few sessions is "I'm bad at this." What you're noticing then is unfamiliarity, and it says little about whether you like the thing.

Set a review point before you start, like the sixth session or two months in. Until then, just go. No verdicts.

Work out which kind of discomfort it is

• Frustration at not getting it yet. The move is wrong, progress is slow, everyone else looks better. Nearly every hobby has this stretch, and on its own it means nothing.
• Friction around it. The venue is far, the schedule doesn't fit, the people aren't your people. That's not the hobby. A different venue, time slot or group might fix it.
• Not liking the activity itself. Even when it goes well, you don't want to be doing it. Maybe you just don't enjoy being in water, or going head to head with someone. This is the only one that means stop.

At the review point, ask four questions

• While you're doing it, does time go faster than usual?
• On the days off, do you think about it, or look things up without meaning to?
• Is the urge to quit about the activity, or about the friction around it?
• Is there one specific thing you can do now that you couldn't the first time?

If the first two are yes, give it another round. If all four are no, let it go.

If this version is wrong, look at the one next to it

Often it isn't the whole hobby that doesn't fit, just the version you tried. If the noise of a bouldering gym gets to you, roped climbing is slower and quieter. If laps around the neighbourhood bore you, trail running puts scenery in front of you.

Every hobby's page lists related hobbies and says why each is there. Check them before you walk away.

If you want to keep going, make it easy to show up

• Same time every week, so there's no decision to make.
• Same people: a regular partner or a class you've paid for. Skipping means telling someone, so you skip less.
• One visible goal: your first finished piece, your first 5k, one song played start to finish.
• Keep notes on what you worked on and where you got stuck. A month later the progress is usually bigger than it felt.

Stopping isn't wasted

What you practised comes with you. Fine hand control, rhythm, fitness, an eye for detail all carry over to the next thing.

Sell the gear while it's still in good shape and you'll get some of the money back. File it under "tried it", and next time there's one less thing to guess about.