Hobbies that help you make friends as an adult
What actually works
Friendships grow out of seeing the same people again and again, without having to plan it. School and early jobs did that for you. As an adult, a hobby can do it, but only some kinds. A class of strangers who scatter after eight weeks rarely leaves you with friends. A team, a choir or a weekly game night that meets with the same people for months often does.
A study at the University of Kansas found that it takes roughly 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, and around 200 to become close friends. A weekly two-hour session gets you to the first mark in about six months.
Pick something with a fixed group
These hobbies only work if the same people turn up each time, which is exactly what you want:
- Choir, where you rehearse with the same section every week for a concert.
- Community theatre, where a cast spends weeks rehearsing one show.
- A tabletop roleplaying campaign, which needs the same four or five players each session.
- Rowing, ultimate frisbee or a softball league, where a crew or a team trains and plays together all season.
- Bridge, which is played with a regular partner at a club.
Or something with easy drop-in partners
If a fixed commitment feels like too much, pick a hobby where you need a partner but can find one on the night. Pickleball and badminton drop-in sessions, board game cafés, and salsa or swing dance socials all work this way. You will meet more people, but less often, so go to the same session each week until faces become familiar.
Make yourself a regular
- Choose one group and go every week for three months before you judge it.
- Arrive a little early and stay for the drink or coffee afterwards. That is where people talk.
- Offer to help with something small: setting up, keeping score, sending the reminder. People get to know whoever does that.
- Suggest one thing outside the group once you know someone a bit, such as a game, a walk or a meal.
If you are shy
Pick a hobby with something to do together, so the activity carries the conversation. A choir or a board game gives you a reason to be there and something to talk about. A networking-style meetup with nothing to do is the hardest place to start.